On boot camp and shopping

I was at Home Depot today buying plants for my front garden. In an effort to get my adult life together, I decided that my home's landscaping was the outer beacon of my success and I "landscaped" by putting some actual flowers where flowers were meant to go (but previously had been home to the recycling bins.) I think this is a great first step to convincing my neighbors that we're actually adults because I'm pretty sure they're convinced we're broke 20 year olds renting this house, since we can't even manage to keep the lawn from dying in the 3 years since we bought the place.

This is great and all, but I realized that maybe I should have gotten proper soil first because my plants are really struggling. So I skipped off to Home Depot on a Sunday (mistake #1) to acquire replacement plants for the ones that totally died and to get potting soil.

I bought about 5 too many plants, because I have poor spatial relations skills. I resolved this by ripping out the plants I don't like and replacing them with prettier ones.

Anyway, while I was waiting in line to check out (in the sun, without sunscreen on, see mistake #1) an ad came across my Facebook feed:

"Need help with your eating habits and burning some fat for the summer months?"

Mentally I nodded. Sounds great! Sounds like work, though, and the classes are always at like, 2pm. Which actually would work for me, but I'm lazy.

"Mondays and Wednesdays 7:00pm!"

Shoot, that's an evening, I could totally do that.

"6 weeks, 2x a week, $240"

Hm, that's really not that bad.

The cashier took this opportunity to interrupt me and separate me from $67 of my money.

I drove home and mused on whether I could make bootcamp happen.

And then I saw pictures from last weekend's clinic. Bootcamp HAS to happen.

Now, I am okay with my weight. I know I'm overweight, and I don't like to make excuses, but I drive two hours EACH WAY to my office, plus I ride. I really don't have a lot of time for anything, but especially not the four hours a day of exercise that really fit people seem to do. Also, I REALLY hate salads, which is how I got this fat in the first place.

But I saw this picture and I started to really hate the way I look. I'm a perfectly fine rider, or at least I think so (would be better if I could learn to f--king sit up!!) but this photo just really highlights how unattractive my weight is. Now, this is MY OPINION. I realize that if I were posting photos of someone else and calling them fat, that would be no bueno. But I promise you, this is a photo of me, and if you look like me and are cool with it, then more power to you. You do you! Me, I do not want to look like this anymore.

So before I could change my mind, I paid my monies and registered for six weeks of having my ass kicked by a cute, perky personal trainer who will read my food journal and judge me. I really think it's something I needed to do.

As an aside, this has helped my shopping habit. I have a selfish motivation - a lot of the clothes I really want to buy, like Pikeur jackets and Equiline breeches, don't come in my size, which I think is really embarassing. I just bought a new softshell coat, and I had to buy the XXL. I was on calevo.com this morning and had two pairs of Pikeurs in my cart - but I don't want to buy them because I really don't want to spend more money on clothes in the largest size they make. The breeches I'm wearing in the above picture are a 34, and I'm 5' tall. When I rode in college, I wore a 28. I would like to at least get down to a 30.

I have the grave misfortune to ride at a barn that is full of tiny pony riding teenagers who wander around in their sports bras, trim midriffs exposed. I can confirm that I NEVER had a body like that - even when I was their age. I was always 'the chubby one' and I'd be fine with being the chubby one - but it needs to be 20 pounds less chubby than I am right now. And I really hate being the "fat one" in all the barn photos, especially since I'm the only adult, too.

Also, this picture showed me that I need a new saddle. Stay tuned for that post.